When my autistic son turns 18 or somehow graduates high school, we’re done with him for good.

My husband and I decided on it today. He’s 13 years old now and has taken that many years off my life at least.

He’s not fully autistic in the stereotypical sense, but his brain is beyond repair. We’ve tried everything: therapy, medication, help books, hired help, and more. He cannot go through a day without constantly antagonizing people, chanting, yelling, hitting, spitting, etc. He cannot focus on anything but video games and fails at everything we introduce him to for his utter lack of attention.

His ego is massive; the moment he becomes angry, he begins physically attacking anyone (including us, his parents), thinking he’s much stronger than he is and always completely in the right. He has threatened us with knives and broken our phones and computers. It is impossible to reason with him. I am worried that he will send one of us to the hospital at one point.

I have three other children. I love spending time with him. He, however, is a nightmare. I feel like crying whenever I’m around him, which is almost the entire day. I’m getting watery eyed just writing this. After all, he is my son that I birthed and coddled as a baby, but i can’t bear it any longer.

My husband and I have invested tens of thousands of dollars and personal time into his treatment/development. He has not improved, only become more hopeless. We do not want to spend the rest of our lives taking care of him, and neither do my other children. When my husband and I are not around, he is destined for the same future regardless.

For my other children, we are pouring our life savings into their higher education. I highly, highly doubt my other son will graduate high school, but if his special needs plan manages to push him through, higher education will be a waste anyway; he cannot function on his own.

Moreover, aside from my giving birth to him, he has done nothing to deserve his place in our family. There are social workers adamant that people like him are worth the investment. Well, he will be their problem in due time.

I’m going to spend the next 5 years still trying my best, but unless he drastically changes, those will be the last 5 years.

submitted by /u/89911throwaway11998 to r/TrueOffMyChest
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