"The 80/20 Rule"
Have you heard about this? The idea that "80 percent of woman are only dating the the top 20 percent of men."
My husband has been repeating this more and more frequently, parroting co-workers and mid-life crisis family members. I asked him tonight to show me statistics. Prove to me that this isn't another way to blame women for simply having standards. He could not.
Ladies, let me give you the tools to fight this. The actual statistic is that Tinder and Okcupid's user base is made up of roughly 75 percent men, give or take a few percentage points. You can easily find the exact percentage on Google. So, yes, while 25-ish percent of men are engaging 75-ish percent of women on dating sites, the gender pool is so skewed that the ratio of men dating women is actually fairly even. The number of men and women having sex is comparable! And this number doesnt even factor in LGBTQIA+. The rebuttal was that only the "top men", "tallest men", "most attractive men" are having sex with women, so I challenged the narrative. Who is determining what is attractive? Tall by what standard? What factors determine a "top" man? Because the female gaze is not the male male gaze. I'm barely 5 foot tall. I could give a rat's ass about height.
The simple fact is that there is no data to back up this narrative. Several of the "sources" that were cited were based on feelings, emotions, and opinions. So I reminded my husband that feelings were not facts (his words) and that until he could provide actual studies by actual scientists or statistical data from one of these dating sites, I would assume that none of it was true or reputable. It's confirmation bias.
So, this is my goodnight, at 12:39 am, after having watched my show and peeked over my husband's shoulder to see ALL of the links on his Google search were purple. I'm tucking myself into bed and hopefully waking up to a more informed spouse tomorrow.
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