AITA for telling my dad's fiancée I am not interested in being her son or accepting her as my mom?
My mom died 6 years ago. I'm 16 now and for the past two years my dad has been dating Kate. Kate's a widow who has 2 kids with her husband and both her kids are under 5. My dad and Kate got engaged at the start of the year. Kate's kids started calling my dad dad around that time. I think because that's when we all moved in together. Since then Kate has tried to bond with me and to build up that mother-son relationship to go with dad's father-kid relationship with her kids. I tried being nice about it while also not saying yes to most of the stuff she has asked me to do with her.
Mother's Day was the first real fight we had. My dad and Kate wanted us to celebrate the day as a "family" and I chose not to celebrate with them, because Kate isn't my mom and she's not the person I would want to be with on that day and I said that. Kate told me she could be, and she was willing to try super hard to be a good mom to me. When I didn't give in she told me these are special memories for the whole family and we need to blend as a family unit. Dad was trying to claim I'm a big brother now or would be once they were married and I should want to make a family unit that's close, loving and supportive for Kate's kids. When I said I didn't feel obligated to we fought.
The fight didn't make Kate stop but in the past month she's been more upset because on top of everything I refused to give her away at the wedding. She said she wanted her kids to do it and she has her kids actually walking with her but since I'm older and old enough to technically do it in a more official way she was hoping I would. I told her I wasn't going to do that and I would be super uncomfortable in that role. After that Kate pulled me aside when my dad and her kids weren't home and asked me why I was being so difficult through this and I told her it's because I'm not interested in being her son or accepting her as my mom. I told her she's Kate. Just Kate. Her kids are just Kate's kids or my dad's almost stepkids. I told her I don't want to be her son/their brother and I'm not going to try and be that when I just don't want to. I said it's fine being friendly but they will never be the nuclear family to me that they want to be with each other.
My dad tried talking to me when Kate told him about our talk but we ended up arguing. Kate and my dad did mention that I was being unfair in not even trying the nuclear family thing to make it work and they said being 16 doesn't mean I couldn't open my heart to another mom and two siblings.
AITA?
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